A pie should never be humble.

Who won the conflict in Lebanon and Israel? Well, let's get some input from the major players:

ISRAEL: We got those terrorist bastards!

HEZBOLLAH: Those Zionist pigs didn't know what hit 'em!

IRAN: God has done good on his promises - pious youths have taught the Zionists a lesson this day.

USA: Damn terrorists. We should just blow the lot of 'em up and have done with it. Oh, and Israel won.

SYRIA: Stupid Israel. Let's send over some more missiles for Hezbollah to play war with.

LEBANON: Ouchies, ouchies, ouchies. Let's play somewhere else, mmmkay.

So, the outcome: Will be decided upon another sally forth to the battlefield because everyone agrees that their side won the war and nothing was truly accomplished except the deaths of too many innocent civilians and the utter destruction of southern Lebanon.

Woot for war! It solves so many things.

Don't die.